Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize