If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
