So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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