no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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