i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
