so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
