So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
