i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
