She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Your dad touched me again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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