She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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