dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
