fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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