I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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