so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
