She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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