Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
