There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
