Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
