my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
