I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
