**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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