i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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