Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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