I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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