Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
