East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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