When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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