Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
