Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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