My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
