Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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