Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize