a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize