I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
