so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you would pick up someone in the library
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
