Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
