these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Randomize
