his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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