Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dating After Heartbreak
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems