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• (972): View more from Texas

  they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?

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• (650): View more from California

  The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have

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• (561): View more from Florida

  We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.

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• (518): View more from New York

  That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.

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