Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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