I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
