im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
