I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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