how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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