Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
