So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
