remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
only if we run a train.
done.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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