"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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