The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
