dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
