I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He better not be in your backpack
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
