So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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