oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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