first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
