well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
