Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
