doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
