Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
