so explain again why im purple
no
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
