I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
