Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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