I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
