FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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