We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
