there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
