I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
