It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
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Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
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Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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