Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
