will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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